I was asked a few years ago, “Why do you think your firm is successful?”

I had never really thought about that question because I had always been too busy doing the “business of my business” to give it much thought.

So I stopped and I thought long and hard about the question. I began to realize that whatever success I had achieved came from the teachings of my family and friends.

I thought about what my grandfather, a man I adored and highly respected, had shared with me. What my aunt, a Cherokee of great wisdom and compassion who raised me, had taught me.

I reflected on the teachings from my mother, who, according to my wife, adored me. I remembered lessons learned from my favorite uncle, who never met a stranger. And then there was my father-in-law, who always reassured me, and my adopted dad “Jim” who continues to inspire me.

And yes, I even recalled the lessons taught to me by one of my favorite teachers, Mrs. Cunningham, who taught me manners in the fourth grade.

All these people had contributed to my success in one way or another. I was overwhelmed with humility and an understanding that I had not experienced before.

Reliability

My grandfather was a self-made and self-educated man. He was, as we say in these politically correct days, a Native American of the Cherokee tribe. He taught me the lesson of reliability.

As he would often say, “When you tell a man you will be somewhere at a given time, you are always there early, waiting for him with a drink of cool water.”

Responsiveness

My Aunt Anzie, who was my caretaker from age 1 through about age 12, was a saint of a woman. A large lady with an equally large heart and smile, she was always the one the family turned to in times of need (“uduladi” in Cherokee) because of her responsiveness.

She read incessantly. The Bible, history and classic literature were her favorites.

One of her favorite sayings was, “We must always go quickly to those who need us the most.” Thus, she taught me the importance of responsiveness.

Our clients expect us to be responsive to their needs on their time schedule and to provide timeliness of service throughout the relationship.

Competence

My mother was married to my father for more than 50 years. She had staying power to say the least, and she possessed the necessary skills and knowledge to make the relationship work.

She was a Cherokee child of the earth who had learned many of the ways of her parents.

Whatever she did, whether it was being a knitter, a waitress, or a gardener, she was always the best at it. And, man, could she cook. She taught me the lesson of competence.

Even today I still am learning, and I strive daily to be as competent as possible.

Our clients expect us to have or to acquire the necessary skills and knowledge to help them solve problems. They expect us to demonstrate our competence.

Approachability

You meet people in life that you like from the first meeting. They make such an impression that you never forget them. Enter Uncle Ross. A World War II veteran who came home unscathed from the war, only to be run down by a drunken driver on the streets of Detroit, Uncle Ross was the embodiment of optimism and goodwill.

Although both of his legs and feet were broken and severely damaged by the accident, his good humor and charming personality never faltered.

Uncle Ross taught me the importance of being accessible to all people. He showed me how to approach people and put them at ease.

Uncle Ross also taught me to be a good listener and to put people at ease. He often would say, “Remember God gave us two ears and one mouth.” I believe you can readily see the value of learning such skills to benefit your own customers.

Our customers want someone they can be comfortable with as a partner. They want someone that they can talk to about their issues, problems, concerns and frustrations.

Courtesy

I miss the old East Side Elementary School in Princeton. I am especially fond of the memories I have of my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Cunningham.

Mrs. Cunningham taught me some of the most important life and business lessons of any of my mentors. She taught me to stand up when a lady entered the room, to hold the door for them, to always say “Yes ma’am” and “No sir.”

She also gave me a love of reading as well as the curiosity to question things to discover my truth.

I believe that too many business people today have not learned the rudiments of courtesy and politeness. Or, perhaps they simply don’t understand the importance of courtesy and politeness in building a relationship with their customers.

And Mrs. Cunningham also taught me the value of writing personalized thank you notes and mailing them promptly to the person being thanked. This is truly a lost art.

Communication 
and credibility

Our customers, if they are to be courted or retained as a customer, expect us as business people to keep them in the communications loop, even when the news is bad. They expect and deserve open, honest and forthright communications and information from us because they have entrusted their business to us.

As Brit Hume, the famous journalist, once said, “In the end, you make your reputation, and you have your success based upon credibility and being able to provide people who are really hungry for information what they want.”

Assurance

This brings me to the subject of great importance: being assured.

Mr. Tommy, my father-in-law and a successful salesman of electrical equipment and components for 25 plus years in Atlanta, steps in here. A man of few words, the words he did offer were very important to me.

When I told him that I was leaving the government and corporate worlds to pursue the dream of creating my own business, his response was totally unexpected, especially since I was placing the security of his daughter’s future in jeopardy as I pursued this dream.

Frankly, I expected him to cringe at the idea, as my own father had. Instead he said, with confidence in his voice, “You will do just fine. I don’t know why you haven’t done this before now. And remember, you can always go back to work for someone else if you choose, although you will never do that once you taste the freedom of your own business.”

Mr. Tommy was right. His belief in me reassured me even when I did not have the confidence I needed.


Inspiration

Finally, to be truly successful, to continue to build on our success, we must be inspired and motivated.

That is where my adopted dad Mr. Jim came to the rescue.

I had decided as early as the 1970s that someday I would own and operate my own business. I had toyed with many different ideas, subscribing to Entrepreneur magazine for years, trying to review franchise opportunities and small businesses that could be started on a shoestring.

Realizing that someday I would strike out on my own, I methodically put away money monthly to build a year’s salary just in case I could not find any consulting work.

From 1982 until 1994, I built a nest egg as I worked toward the goal of starting my consulting firm. I took classes in those business areas where I knew I was weak. I worked two solid years at night and weekends to secure a doctoral degree.

Then, when I decided that I had sufficient capital in June of 1994, right before I stepped out to begin the new journey, I began to have second thoughts.

Understanding the angst I was going through, Mr. Jim wrote me a personal letter.

He wrote in his letter about the need for every man to push the envelope now and then and to utilize the knowledge that they already had.

That letter was the final piece of my puzzle. It was and still is the touchstone I turn to when I need inspiration. Mr. Jim saw what I couldn’t see because of my myopic fear, and I will forever be grateful that he wrote and sent me that letter.

As of this writing, my wife and I have a successful consulting firm. I have written two books with a third on the way as well as many papers and articles. We conduct webinars and give speeches, workshops and private consultations.

We are successful because we remembered what our family, friends and teachers taught us. For the advice and counsel we received, I will always be grateful.

Dr. L. Darryl Armstrong, Armstrong and Associates, is a consultant and counselor. He can be reached at drdarryl@aol.com or 1-888-340-2006 or www.armstrongassociates.org.